Dear Jackass,
Does it make me racist just because I don’t prefer dating African Americans? I have no prejudice or hate towards anyone at all though, [except for jerks on the road], and I have a really diverse group of friends anyway. I myself am a double minority, what one would call “gaysian.” Just ’cause my personal preference when it comes to dating is either Asian or Caucasian, does that make me racist? I’m just wondering, I don’t really ever have any racist thoughts though–it’s just my personal preference.
There is actually an African American dude that I met in my gay-straight alliance at school, and he really likes me, and I turned him down the first time, telling him I just wanna be friends, but he told me he won’t give up on me lol, what can I do or say without offending him? He flirts with me often via text and I handle everything as politely and friendly as I can though.
Sincerely,
The Pink and Yellow Menace
Dear Dennis,
I’m sorry to have to be the one to tell you this, but yes – you are in fact a racist for not being attracted to black men. What, precisely, is wrong with you? Did a negro run over your dog? Did you fall out of a black tree when you were a child? What hideous trauma could warp your mind so terribly that you could prefer not to date people of a particular race? Jesus, do you even have a soul?
As for your friend, I think the best thing to do would be to come clean with him. Tell him your deep-seated hatred of all things African. Be open about your tendencies toward social darwinism. Maybe show up on his lawn one day in bed sheets, burning a cross and letting him know that you’ve come for him. Honesty is the best policy, Dennis, and I can’t imagine your new friend – if he’s any kind of a friend you’d want to keep around – could possibly be offended by that kind of sharing.
