So here we are again. I keep promising to stop spending precious time and bandwidth on Rick Santorum, and he just keeps saying shit that requires me to open up on him. It’s a delicate dance that Rick and I do, and frankly I sometimes wonder if we would have enough things to write about around here if he wasn’t such a complete bag of dicks.
What’s got my undergarments twisted now? Nothing short of possibly the most insulting and degrading thing I’ve heard anyone say in a very, very long time. When asked about his opposition to abortion even in cases of rape and incest, Santorum (whose name has been neologized to mean “the frothy mixture of lubricants and feces that results from anal sex” for good reason), said:
Well, you can make the argument that if she doesn’t have this baby, if she kills her child, that that, too, could ruin her life… As horrible as the way that that son or daughter and son was created, it still is her child. And whether she has that child or she doesn’t, it will always be her child, and she will always know that. And so to embrace her and to love her and to support her and get her through this very difficult time, I’ve always, you know, I believe and I think the right approach is to accept this horribly created — in the sense of rape — but nevertheless a gift in a very broken way, the gift of human life, and accept what God has given to you… I can’t think of anything more horrible, but nevertheless, we have to make the best out of a bad situation and I would make the argument that that is making the best.
So, basically, what The Froth is saying is, “if life gives you rape, make rapeonaide”. That’s…ok, I hope our regular readers will appreciate the magnitude of what I’m about to say…that is so fucking foul that I can’t even find it within myself to be snarky about it. It shows a fundamental disregard for a woman’s emotional well-being, her ability to make decisions about what’s best for her own life, and her basic autonomy as a human being. It is the most condescending thing on earth for this man – this man – to say “I know it’s difficult being raped, but that constant reminder of your violation is a gift from God, so grit your teeth, put your physical and emotional health at risk, and have that baby! Because if you don’t bear the fruit of your sexual assault you might regret it later on.”
Now, I know that abortion regret is a thing. I don’t think it’s anywhere near as big a thing as pro-life activists would have you believe, but I have no doubt that there are actually women out there in the world who regret terminating a pregnancy. But dollars to donuts there is not a single woman on earth who regrets aborting a fetus conceived through rape. If I am wrong, please point me to the example. I am sincerely curious to know, and will gladly eat my words if such a thing exists.
Furthermore, who the fuck is Rick Santorum to tell a woman what’s best for her in the aftermath of a rape? Have you ever been raped, Rick? Are you a trained and licensed rape counselor? Do you have any experience in your life that gives you any sort of authority to speak on this issue other than your fanatical, slavering devotion to a book of mythology that was written thousands of years ago by other fucking men with no expertise in the subject? No. No you do not.
Here’s my proposal then: I put my foot so far up Rick Santorum’s ass that he gets shoe polish on the backs of his veneers. Then I object strenuously to him having it surgically removed. You’re just going to have to make the best of it, Rick.
Either that or, you know, shut the fuck up.
This is my feelings about the republican candidates. They are all completely and utterly insane. Either religious nut jobs who only believe in religious freedom if it applies to their religion. Or Newt is a super Gillian who wants a moon base or death star. IT’S A TRAP!
i will never tire of that gag…
Beautifully said, Mr. N.
“If life gives you rape make rapeinade” I love your brain so much, Mr. Nienaber!