Why the hell are you on the internet right now? It’s July 4th, the day when all good Americans celebrate how awesome we are! There’s meat to be grilled, frisbees to be awkwardly thrown about and family to pretend that you enjoy being around, so get your ass outside. Seriously.
The Fatal Downflaw staff will not be bringing you new material today because we are asserting our independence in the traditional way: drinking heavily, gorging ourselves on potato salad in the most hideous display of gluttony this side of a Roman orgy, blowing shit up, killing the British, and indulging in some of our favorite patriotic films.
GOD BLESS AMERICA!