Last week, we celebrated Halloween but we have now seen the error of our ways. There is a better reason to celebrate October 31st. Something so big, so exciting, so glorious that we can’t keep our mouths shut any longer.
I’m talking about Jesus Ween!
Verily, it is a day of good news! The power of Satan that has been shrinking our candy down to stupid sizes is vanquished through the power of Jesus and his Ween!
Really.
I wouldn’t dream of making this up.
Jesus Ween is real.
Jesus Ween has risen.
It seems that people have known the power of the Jesus Ween for centuries but have never harnessed that powerful ween until now.
The power of Jesus Ween compels you.
For years Jack Chick has been telling us to beware of Devil’s night, when children are kidnapped for human sacrifice! But never before was there a suitable alternative.
Now? Families can gather happily around the holy twig and berries and reflect on the comfort that his rod and staff shall offer through the long, cold winter ahead.
I feel that Jesus Ween is so mighty that it deserves songs of celebration and praise. "Oh Come All Ye Faithful" has never rung so true!
And so, it is with the comfort that only a truly holy ween can provide that we here at Fatal Downflaw headquarters wish you all a warm, long, full, happy and delicious Jesus Ween.
Remember- the best part of Jesus Ween is that you know it will come again!
heheh… rod…
Ween. Ween.Ween. Ween.
the christian faith… stealing holidays from the pagans since the dark ages…
Inspired by the pumpkin, I want to find a picture of Jesus standing over the Grim Reaper, victorious.
Like Mortal Kombat style, possibly holding a skull & spinal cord after a fatality. I mean I could photoshop this, but it would be better if it just magically appeared.
You’ve made your wishes known to the internet. It must be so.