Hello friends, and welcome to another edition of Whore Wednesday, the column that PAYS US MOTHERFUCKING CASH MONEY! Thanks for indulging us these past three weeks. It’s almost at an end, and I hope that you take comfort in the fact that we, the Fatal Downflaw staff, are currently swimming in a room filled with gold coins and lighting cigars rolled in hundred-dollar bills with Apple stocks. We bought Sarah a platinum Snuggie, which is, contrary to all logic, even less practical than it sounds.
I’m at a complete loss for what to write tonight. I had intended to keep these fun so that you at least got some enjoyment out of our completely shameless commercialization, but my newfound obscene wealth has completely sucked the humor out of me. I understand this is a common occurrence among the uber-wealthy. Look at Adam Sandler.
So in the interest of keeping things brief so that I can get back to crashing Bentleys into yachts for the LULZ, I’m going to just skip whatever entertainment I might have wrung out of this post and just post the infographic that magically gives us money now. Because that’s something else the extremely wealthy do: screw you.
I wouldn’t mind the ad at all if it weren’t such a blatant rip-off of The Oatmeal.
Best thing you’ve ever written, Andy.